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I miss my daughter. I find myself unable to complete daily tasks and sorrow overwhelms me. Parental Kidnapping is a reality I’ve faced repeatedly over the past two years and the answers are far from simple but the results certain. Suicide, Teenage Pregnancy and drug have all been connected to one irreplaceable element of natural order….Fathers. My daughter’s been missing for a couple months now. The last time I saw her was in a group email sent on valentine’s day. My daughter was dressed like a genie and I was but a footnote in the mass email. Kids grow quick and she looks different from the last time I saw her a couple months ago. These days are treacherous for me - food doesn’t taste right and the downheartedness I feel affects every part of my life. The poverty of my soul transcends to every element of my being. I fail in my work and eventually if this continues I feel as my body will pay the ultimate price. Quite literally I feel the stress of worrying about my daughter is killing me. Sorry Scott….
My child’s name is McCartney and her last name is hid from her. The family plays a game, each person says there first and last name….she’s the only one in the room with a different name - then they point to her….. The last time I told her what her name was she cried. After all she wants to be a part of the family. It has occurred to me that this name is an honor and has been a contributer to this country in every major war. I keep visible in my community ensuring this name is held in high regard. It’s part of my mission to make sure my child knows this - that she knows where she’s from is a good place - that she’s loved - has a father here and one in heaven that loves her unconditionally. I miss her voice. She will know my voice as it will be on the airwaves - she will read my text in her community paper. My name will remain synonymous with honor and it’s my fight to give her the privilege to share it with her until that day a man not quite worthy enough asks me to give it to her.

As part of my custody decree I have the equivalent of a right of first refusal when McCartney’s mom is busy working. I’ve made career decisions around being able to spend time with her and at one point I was primary caretaker - but these chapters end suddenly and I’m on one side of a civil war I never wanted to be a part of.
I have reason to believe she’s being taken to a public school and finally this weekend I called the school. The superintendent says, “We don’t have a child by that name” and ensue with table talk. We both know who the child is and we’re both well aware of the legal implications of straight talk. We dance and I deliver a message of peace….or rather give an ultimatum to the superintendent that it’s better to be a peacemaker. Mom teaches at the school and my ace in the hole is a card I’m not showing.
Though court orders demand she be returned to me - many of Missouri’s counties prefer a path of impotency - it’s the safe way. Some Missouri counties take a different approach. I commend Cape Girardeau for their adherence to state statute and withold christian County Missouri is the optimum place to abduct children as they currently have no policies that either enforce custody orders or pay any credence to state laws regarding this issue. I believe christian County’s cowardly stance condones parental kidnapping and effectively helps in harming children. I’ve been told at the prosecuting attorney’s office …”you can get another contempt motion…but there’s really nothing you can do.” They’re right. There is nothing I can do as long as they fail to address the issue. As long as kidnapping is rewarded with one sided policies. In christian County Missouri if a parent obligated to pay child support falls behind …sometimes as little as 1,000 dollars the prosecuting attorney’s office is willing to spend $80,000 to incarcerate a parent for 4 years. Kidnap a child and you might even get a cash reward. In Missouri, the longer a child stays with a custodial parent the higher the non-custodial parent pays. This is why children are routinely negotiated for cash against the child’s interest.

Children are well adjusted and have a better shot at life when both parents have a participatory role. But as long as harming children is a profitable game sophists will play it. I can only hope that one day God herself will enforce Missouri’s Constitution “May the Welfare of the People Be The Supreme Law.” In Missouri, the preferred custody preference is joint though case law tells a different story and as long as family infighting pays high dividends children’s best interest will remain a distant reality.

I remember preparing for court. I read the Uniform Parentage Act so many times my hands bled. I read case law and time after time fell to my knees in despair. These are the stories of hatred of children left behind. The Associated Press handbook on Media law recommends journalists refrain from citing divorce documents unless there is secondary evidence confirming the validity of accusations. The reason is fraud in family law is common. This is a part of the game I never wanted to play and while awaiting trial months went by where my daughter was concealed. I setup an 800 number so once in a while I could hear my child’s voice the line went silent. I use this line (dial up the middle) 800-520-0852 for news tips today.

I studied the attorney who was fighting to take my daughter’s father away. My deepthroats were stationed at every poker game where cheap booze met boasts of case law mis cites. Where judges were ridiculed and political plays made while cards were played. I studied the play books where parents on one side didn’t have representation and one parent won while the children lost.

I met her at gas stations, sporting events and sent direct correspondence just in case the day came that round 2 was inevitable. When it came down to it I realized children never win in this game.
I played a different game - the hardest I’ve ever played. I kept the cards in hand and refrained from ever speaking an ill word towards my child’s mother. I suppose teaching children to honor their father and mother should start with example. This was the only shred of dignity I was left with. In a cloud of false accusation I spoke no ill.

I don’t think I’ll ever be the same…I don’t think I’ll ever be ok without my daughter….without knowing where she is …how she’s doing. At one point I found out that interstate drug traffickers were in my daughter’s presence. I silently asked mom to keep certain individual’s away from her. That’s another part of my agreement…that I have a say in the life of the child I share legal custody with.

She opted to tell the smugglers of my request and the result was a confrontation where my life was publicly threatened. They bounce her on their lap while I worry.

I was once told if I wanted to save my daughter’s life I’d have to change the world. In a sense this is what I’m trying to do…babysit the powers that have say in her life and document the man I am so one day if she’s kidnapped and knows not where I am….she’ll find my breadcrumbs - know who she is and where she’s from and that though distant she’s loved.

Next week, I’m writing on the issue of Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and the effect this has on children. The article will be published in the Taney County Times. If you’ve been victim to parental kidnapping or have a child suffering from PAS drop a line.